Parenting Resources

Teaching Children to be Resilient

Resilience – the ability to manage stress and overcome adversity – is one characteristic that has been identified as contributing to success in life.  “Bouncing back after hardship” is an important skill to develop, since each child will experience adversities and difficulties, despite our best efforts to protect them.  In fact, since children actually benefit from experiencing difficulties, it is important that we, as parents, allow our children to experience adversity and failure, rather than always protecting them from it.  Children need to learn that things do not always turn out the way they would like, but they can benefit, even from difficulties.  Fortunately resilience can be taught or developed in children by skillful parenting. 

Additional Resources

 A Parent’s Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens:  Giving Your Child Roots and Wings.   Dr. Ginsburg lists seven “C’s” of resilience:  competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.   

 The Blessings of a Skinned Knee – Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children.  Dr.  Wendy Mogel provides practical advice for parents based upon the teachings of the Torah, including avoiding overscheduling and overindulgence.

 How Children Succeed – Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character.  Paul Tough demonstrates that character traits such as perseverance, curiosity, and self-control are better predictors of success than intelligence.